The People You Meet: Vendors with Children

 There are lots of discussions on various sites about vendors with children.  Look past the ridiculous flame wars of "I would never" and "My child is perfect"  and you get to the simple reality.  Sometimes you just have to take the kids with you.  It is a fact of life.

You never know the reason that vendor has the cranky baby with her.  It was most likely not her first choice.  Tales of flaky babysitters, sick grandmothers, broken cars and working husbands abound.  Some people can roll with it.  Some moms are at the breaking point.  Whatever the reason, they have made the decision that they need to honor their commitment and try and recapture their investment in show fees.  And no matter how they cope with the circumstances, it may literally be a necessity to put food on the table for the week.

The same is true for neighboring vendors.  They are there because this is their business and they need to be able to make sales. They have as many reasons to be stressed as the mom.  Maybe they were up all night finishing product or got up early to drive to the venue.  They have lives and distractions as well.

My broader point is that vendors on both sides of the issue need to take a deep breath and work together to help create and maintain a successful show.  Be open minded.  Be willing to offer and to accept help.  Set respectful boundaries. Be polite.

If you have to take kids with you, bring plenty of snacks, have their favorite toys, bring electronics.  If you can play a movie you can get a couple hours of calm. You know what makes your kids comfortable.  Do what you can to provide it under these conditions. (Unless it is bubbles, involves fingerpaint or chocolate syrup.  Don't bring bubbles, fingerpaint or chocolate syrup.)

 Make sure that you set up an area for the kids with in YOUR booth space.  You may have to give up a table or display area to make sure your kids have room.  So be it.  One of mine loved being underneath the table.  He was invisible to the customer and perfectly happy hiding out in 'his' space. It meant I had less space to store things under the table.  We worked it out.

Set boundaries for them.  Make sure they know where they can and can't play. If they are old enough to roam, set clear guidelines for where they can go, who they can talk to and how and when to check in. You need to know where your kids are and what they are doing.  They are your responsibility.  It is not the job of the vendors or the show organizer or the face painter/balloon artist/craft table monitor to keep track of your children.  Don't be that parent. 

Most of the time, those kids are just part of the scenery playing in the background. Sometimes they melt down. It is a long day and their routine is disrupted, parent is distracted, the weather is uncomfortable.  It happens.  Roll with it and do the best you can. Most people with kids understand. They've been there and done that.   If you get a customer who can't cope you are just going to have to let it go.

Children can be a huge asset in a booth.  They can wear or play with sample goods to show customers how they look or work in real life. They can assist with re-stocking, packing up purchases and tidying up the booth. At shows where it is permitted, I've seen vendors set up a small area where their kids market their own products or have a small craft project for customer kids to make. You just have to monitor things.

Read the customer to see of they are enjoying the kid or annoyed by it.  Work out a signal with your kid ahead of time that lets the child know to step out.  You can talk to them ahead of time and let them know that sometimes there are cranky people, people who are in a hurry or people who just have problems with kids.  Let them know that is isn't their fault but that sometimes you just need to take over.  Work out a plan where you can say excuse me jr would you please get the dohickey under the table for me.  The kid knows the doohickey is the signal to step out. Have them practice saying excuse me to the customer.  I need to do this thing for my parent but she will help you while I do.  Practice.  It can be a game.  A little secret your share while you make a transition to accommodate your customer.

The most important rule for kids at shows is to be respectful of the other vendors.  Older kids can walk around and look at the products.  They can talk to the vendors.  They can learn a lot.  If you or they have some money to spend you can set a budget and allow them to figure out what they want to buy.  However, you can't let them run around wildly endangering themselves and other vendors displays.  They should not be allowed to handle merchandise unless invited to by the vendor AND unless their hands are clean. You need to make sure they do not interfere with sales in the other booths.  If they are in a booth and a real customer approaches they need to wait quietly or move on. Practice this with them.  Do not let them be booth parkers. Set limits on how often and when they can re-visit a booth that they really like. 

 If they are old enough encourage then to assist others.  If they offer and the vendor agrees they can carry boxes or pick up items that may drop.  They can open doors and they can get water or even snacks.  Help them see ways to be helpful.  But also help them to understand that not everyone wants to be helped and to learn when to back off.

Pay attention to the vendors around you and the vendors with whom your kids seem fascinated.  If a vendor asks your kid not to touch then do everything you can to make sure your kid doesn't touch.  Talk to them about being careful around stock and to avoid bumping in to tables or knocking things over.  Truly do not let them handle the merchandise of other vendors.  Do not let them run and toss things in the venue.  This puts them and the rest of the vendors at risk of harm or damage to displays and merchandise.

If an accident happens.  Take responsibility for it. Don't argue. Apologize.   Pay for it.  You brought the kids for whatever reason.  You are responsible for them.    And then make sure that your child knows what they did was wrong.  Give them the opportunity to 'work' off the damages by setting a clear list of tasks for them.   Follow through.  Check things off as they are done. 

 Know when to pack it in.  Sometimes you just can't do it all.  Sometimes you will just have to give up and take the kids home.  It is a tough decision but you need to keep them safe and be considerate of the vendors and customers around you.  If you reach that point seek out the organizer and let them know what the problem is.  You may be able to take a break, close your booth and come back in an hour after you and your child get a break.  Be prepared to cover your table and take your cash with you.  If that isn't and option and you really need to leave, pack up as discretely as you are able.  Start from the back of your booth and work towards the front.  Haul things out as quietly and quickly as you are able.  Do not make a big deal out of it.  Let your booth neighbors know why you are leaving. Apologize.  Create as few disruptions for the customers and the venue as you possibly can.  Most everyone will understand.  Many will find ways to help.  You've done your best.  Cut your losses and take care of your child.

If you are the vendor next to the kids.  Be calm and patient.  Be clear.  Set your boundaries.  Communicate them both to the child and to the parent clearly.  Most kids will understand when you tell them that their sticky fingers will damage the items in your shop.  Use it as an opportunity to explain what you do.  In general it is a good idea to have a sample or a mock up or something that represents your work process on hand for everyone to touch. It is the button you can't touch that has the strongest pull so do what you can to remove that temptation from them. 

It is perfectly OK to say to the child you can look at three things and then you need to report back to your adult.  If you have a candy dish, let them know what the limit is.  Stick to it.

Be as helpful as you are able.  Your first responsibility is to your booth and your customers.  But there will be down time and you can offer to hold the fussy baby or to booth sit when the toddler needs to go to the bathroom.  With the clear permission of the adult, you can let the older kids assist.  Say thank you when they hold the door.  And no thank you when you can't use their help.  Most of all take a few seconds to let the parent know when their child is well behaved or that you understand when their baby is cranky.  Kindness goes a long way.

If an accident happens be calm.  Deal with any dangerous issues first like making sure there isn't any broken glass for some one to step on.  Then assess the damage.  You may want to take pictures.  You may want to write up a list of the times the child was in your booth handling your merch, how any times you spoke to the parent, what they said, if you talked to the organizer and anything else relevant to the situation.   It is perfectly reasonable to ask for payment for broken or damaged merchandise.  It is also possible that the parent won't have the means or ability to pay.  Be open to barter or payment plans.  Be realistic.  Carry insurance.  This is what it is for. 

Lastly, if there is a real problem and the parent is unable or unwilling to address it then you need to report it to the organizer. 

Princess Chuck and the Queen Bee

When the Princess was small the Queen Bee would make her dresses.  Beautiful dresses with tiny pink or blue flowers.  They had lace on the collars and contrasting pockets and they were perfect for a princess.  Well, not the swirly twirly princess dresses of today but perfect for princess named Chuck.
She taught her how to make soap.  Tried to teach her how to make cheese and led the way through a wide swath of seventies arts and crafts.  The Queen Bee got Princess Chuck her first job as a dishwasher (the princess was not amused) and her second job as acid washing glassware in a lab (better suited to a princess named Chuck).  The Queen Bee bought Princess Chuck her first grown up hat, made her go to a fancy salon (awkward) and introduced her to Loeman's at the height of big eighties fashion.   Together they drove trucks, didn't get stuck in the mud (barely), went four wheeling, looked for rocks and flowers and had adventures.

All in all the Queen Bee is amazing.  She graduated from college in three years with honors.  She got a masters degree in geology and became an exploration geologist before there were many women in that field.  She is good at finding oil.  She walked into the petroleum club like women had always been there. This tiny little lady with the long blond hair would smoke cigars and drink whiskey with the boys (even though I doubt she ever liked whiskey or cigars).   She got another master's degree.  She and her husband started  breweries in their back yard and up the mountain and down the street and in Nepal.  Because of course you need to have a brewery in Nepal.  She takes people in and helps them on their way.  She will wear silly shoes because her friend wants her to and she will travel a long way because she is needed.  The Queen Bee is truly brave and bold. 

This wee quilt hearkens back to one of those arts and crafts projects that the Queen Bee and Princess Chuck did sitting at a table made from slab wood under a tarp in a forest of aspen.  They made mosaics on old boards using sticks and stones and pocket knives and glue.  The Queen Bee made an award winning picture of the Crystal Mill which is the focus of this quilt.  Princess Chuck made a picture of  hole in the ground mining entrance.

The picture of the Crystal Mill was printed on fabric.  It is lightly embroidered with embroidery floss.  The flowers are vague representations of alpine forget-me-knots.  It is bound with quilter's cotton.  I finally remembered that I could to do the embroidery through the batting before adding the backing so this one is a wee bit neater than the previous two.  It is just shy of 7 x 9 inches.

This quilt was made in response to Project Quilting Season 9, challenge 3: Bold and Brave. 

Edit:  I should probably add that my sister has been referred to as the queen for many years.  I give her crowns and queen bees whenever I find them.  I'm not really a princess but I did answer to Chuck for most of my childhood.